Eulogy by Steve Vandenbrink

 

I have added the Eulogy from Gary's funeral, written by Steve Vandenbrink, to the blog.
It can be found on the blog page titled: We Will Not Forget Gary
Joanne

WE WILL NOT FORGET GARY

IN MEMORY OF GARY, MY FAITHFUL, LOVING AND GODLY HUSBAND WHOM I MISS DEARLY

Today is the first anniversary of his passing. It is sometimes still hard to believe.
I have received a lot of calls and emails today, even flowers, cards, and visits.
Thank you all for your continued thoughtfulness and prayers. The support is overwhelming!

I want you to know that throughout this past year God has been my daily comfort, everlasting Savior and best-friend. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. He cares!

In one of Gary's last letters to me (November 2011) he wrote...As a child of God, you will never be left alone, as He is a father to the fatherless and will supply all your needs as He has promised in His word.
He left several references in the margin for me to look up.  Isaiah 41:10 sums them all up.
 Fear not, for I am with you;
 Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
 I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
 I (the Lord God) will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

That promise is to everyone who believes in Him. He wants to do all that for you too. Go to Him today.

Joanne

P.S. I have been keeping very busy with two children still at home, going back to college to refresh my nursing career and keeping up with friends and family.

*******************************************************************************

My sister, Lucy, emailed me this poem some time ago and I would like to share it with you.

I can only imagine that this poem might have been recited by Gary today if he were able to do so.

SAFELY HOME

I am home in Heaven, dear ones;
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder I so calmly
Trod the valley of the shade?
Oh! But Jesus' love illumined
Every dark and fearful glade.

And He came Himself to meet me
In that way so hard to tread;
And with Jesus' arm to lean on,
Could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely,
For I love you dearly still:
Try to look beyond earth's shadows,
Pray to trust our Father's Will.

There is work still waiting for you,
So you must not idly stand;
Do it now, while life remaineth--
You shall rest in Jesus' land.

When that work is all completed,
He will gently call you Home;
Oh, the pleasure of that meeting,
Oh, the joy to see you come!

-author unknown


EULOGY FOR GARY’S FUNERAL SERVICE by Steve Vandenbrink

Well, it has been a good many years since I stood on this side of the mike here, but it is a real honor, and a humbling thing to have been asked to speak a few words about Gary. But how do you put a life into just a few words? I would like to share just a few snapshots if you will, or highlights about Gary that made him into the man we loved so much.

He had a bit of a rough start. Although he was born into a brand new home in Holland, it was not an easy go. When we think of a brand new house, we think of a nice, cozy place. But we have to remember, this was Holland. Everything was built of brick, with heavy coats of masonry that had not even begun to dry yet, and the walls running with moisture all winter long. It seemed like he had a bit of a rough go of it. He ended up with a chronic cough and sniffles, didn’t do really well but he made it through and it made him into a tough fighter I suppose.

Another experience that helped that, was when one day he accompanied us on one of our scavenger hunts to the dump. He fell into a place where they had been burning garbage and he got badly burned on his knees and his legs. Again I think that changed him quite a bit. You know, he did not complain much, but he soon realized that when the bandages were being changed the amount of screaming he could do while they were actually being changed didn’t begin to do justice to the pain. So he would get a head start and when the nurses walked into the room, he would start screaming already, and they came to dread those sessions I think, more than he did! But he made it through and again it made him tough.

The next big change in his life was immigrating to Canada, or I should say our homecoming. You know, that did a lot for him. His chronic cough, his bronchitis and all that stuff just totally disappeared, and he thrived in this country. He did really well physically.

Another big change was the move to the farm in Carlingford. You know, being part of this church community and also getting involved with the Meinen boys. Suddenly each day was filled with adventure and excitement. You never knew what was going to happen there, but it was always fun and it was always exciting! And as he grew up, he grew into a handsome young man.

Another big change came when he turned sixteen and got his license and his own car. I think the change was even more in his older sibling’s mind then it was in his own! You know, up until that time he had been a little brother that always tagged along, a little pesky at times, but suddenly he was an adult, and an equal at that. All of a sudden it was fun to go out with him. We would take turns driving places and there were all kinds of stuff we did together. There were a lot of camping trips. There were some other trips into different congregations to check out what they had in the line of girls. There were all kinds of stuff you could do together all of a sudden, and he became a fun guy to be with.

But, you know the biggest single milestone of his life, I think, was the time when he realized that when Jesus died on the cross he didn’t just die for the sins of the world, but he also died for his sins. And he realized that when God offered salvation it was for him as well, and he ran to that and got the assurance of sins forgiven, and a place in Heaven with God. I think that changed him more than anything else before or after, it changed the whole course of his life, his character and everything.

Aside from salvation, (which is the biggest thing that can ever happen to us of course) was Joanne. And Joanne, you know, you have been good for him. When she first started to appear, she looked like a shy, innocent red-headed girl. Well, she is still red headed, and she is still pretty innocent, I think. It was not very long before we realized that Gary had found his soul-mate. And it wasn’t really, really long before we knew this was going to be permanent, this was the one!



Now, it wasn’t that things went entirely without a ripple in the Vandenbrink homestead. Remember, this is the man we are talking about who, when he did a re-modeling project at his home made 27 different blue prints before he found one that had all the bugs worked out of it and that was perfect.

Now, it wasn’t that there was ever any doubt about Joanne being the right one. That was not an issue, but you know, Gary felt like he was not sure whether he would make a good enough husband, a good enough father, or a good enough spiritual leader in the home and yet- he need not have worried, for he did really well. If there ever was a match that was made in heaven, this was the one, and together they made quite a team.

They started out at Kipp’s Lane in London and pretty soon it became very obvious that they were going to break the rule of adults only in the building, so they moved to a farm in Anderson and together they made it into a beautiful home-place. They lovingly restored the house, planted thousands of trees and raised a beautiful family there. As the toddlers turned into teens it became a very busy place indeed. There were always extra cars sitting around, and amazingly quite often those things didn’t seem to run quite right when they arrived at Garys!! They would talk about their vehicles with Gary, and he would patiently listen to all the symptoms. Then he would say: it is probably this or that, but let’s have a look at it. When the cars would leave, they would be purring happily, and so would their owners because Gary could fix anything!

In the mean while there were a lot of camping trips, and a lot of fun together. Gary also was quite involved in out-reach for a few years. We had a gospel trailer and we used to go around to the fairs telling gospel stories. But as the family got older and things got busier, Gary also got more and more involved here in the work of the local church, so the out-reach got put on the back burner a little bit. Not that he didn’t do out-reach anymore, but it was in a different place of service. Those were good years though weren’t they? They seemed to go all too fast, especially the camping trips, they were special. Gary would organize these big camping trips for all the siblings. We would book places all together in a provincial park. Those were good times!

When the diagnosis came of his illness it shook us all to the core. You know, we never thought he would be the first one to go of all of us. Things always seemed to go right for him. Everything seemed to be well-organized and running like a Swiss watch. And yet Gary accepted it with the same calm faith and assurance that had come to characterize his life and this is what he wrote in his blog: He said, "… the prospect of standing before my creator suddenly brings all kinds of things to my mind. But I know that because of Jesus’ saving work on the cross I should have no concerns and trust Him in all things, rejoicing at the prospect of meeting Him."

Gary never complained. He could have been angry; he could have complained and said, Why me? I don’t think that was ever the issue. But there was a deep regret about not being able to be here longer for his family. I think he actually looked forward to going to heaven and so should we all if things are right with us. He also had a deep concern for his friends who did not know the Savior yet. You know, when he wrote in his blog… there was a time when he wrote about heaven and tried to imagine what it would be like: the joy of waiting for others and meeting others that had gone before already. And then he shared with those of his friends who do not have this yet....and this is what he wrote: Those of you who have a relationship with Jesus as Savior will be able to empathize with this, but those of you who read this blog and know nothing of this, I would like to ask you, "What would happen at the end of your life?" All of us will someday have to face our Maker. Many people believe that to get into heaven all you have to do is die, but the Bible tells us rather that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

(Romans 3:23) and that the wages of sin is death.(Romans 6:23) This is not just physical death, but separation from God for all eternity in hell. Because all have sinned, unless God’s anger is appeased, our default destination is Hell and not Heaven. This is hard to understand for us because we tend to judge our actions and morality by society’s standards, and by the way others act. If there is a God who created everything however, He has the right to set standards and He has done so in this book the Bible. God in his love has provided a way of escape for us from punishment however. The same verse that tells us of punishment, ends with…. the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ, our Lord. 1 John 4:10 says, "This is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." The secular jailor in Philippi, who met the early apostles in the early days of the church, was convicted of his sin and asked, "Sirs, What must I do to be saved?" They replied, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. Jesus Himself said. "Come unto Me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." (Mathew 11:28) 2 Peter 3:9 says, "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promises as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." All who recognize that they deserve God’s punishment for sin and follow God to the best of their ability and trust that Jesus took their punishment, will be forgiven and one day share eternal joy in Heaven...That was Gary’s concern for all.

You know Kids – your father loved you passionately, but you probably knew that already. And his desire for you was not first of all that you would be successful in business, or find a lovely partner, as some of you have done already, but his main concern was that you would always love the Lord and put Him first. In connection with this, we all have to make some choices, don’t we? We can either be angry at God, you know, be dissatisfied because of the years we didn’t get with Gary, or we can be thankful for the years God has given us. You know, these last couple have been pretty special, haven’t they? They were a real gift from God, more than anyone expected. The way we answer that question will change the course of our life.

I would like to just read a couple of verses and then I am done. Something he put in his blog: A song he liked. He said, "When I go, don’t cry for me, in my Father’s arms I’ll be. The wounds this world left on my soul will all be healed, and I’ll be whole. Sun and moon will be replaced with the light of Jesus face. And I will not be ashamed, for my Savior knows my name.

The last verse says, "So weep not for me, my friend, when my time below does end, for my life belongs to him, who will raise the dead again. It does not matter where you bury me, for I’ll be home and I’ll be free. It doesn’t matter where I lay, all my tears be washed away."

Well, little brother, you ran a good race, and we have not come to say goodbye, but rather we’ll see you later! As Emily put it so well last night: You beat us all home! We have the full expectation we will see him again.........Thank you.

This is a written copy (taken from the service CD) of the eulogy given by Steve Vandenbrink at the funeral of his brother Gary.

 

 

 

 

In Loving Memory and Reflections

On Tuesday, June 5, 2012  with almost all his children at his side, Gary was taken home to be with the Lord after a two year struggle with multiform glioblastoma brain cancer.

In Loving Memory Of: 

Gary Vandenbrink 

December 24, 1956 - June 5, 2012

Lovingly remembered by:

His wife: Joanne Vandenbrink

His children: 
Michael Vandenbrink
Christine Vandenbrink and David Calderwood (fiancé)
David and Leanne Vandenbrink
Ryan Vandenbrink
Jessica Vandenbrink

His mother: Evelyn Vandenbrink

His brothers and sisters: 
Henny & Rick Fintelman
Steven & Karen Vandenbrink
Mary & Jim Schuit
John & Carol Ann Vandenbrink
Evelyn & Bill Menkveld

His parents in-law: Henk & Gerda Pennings

His in-laws, the Pennings family, and many nieces and nephews

Predeceased by: 
His father, Steven Vandenbrink (2010)


Memorial Service Bethel Free Reformed Church Mitchell, Ontario 

June 9, 2012, 1l:00am

Officiating Minister: Pastor Joel Overduin

Organist: Cindy Vander Heide
Pianist:  Brianna Vander Heide

Pallbearers: Michael Vandenbrink
                      David Vandenbrink
                      Ryan Vandenbrink
                      Steven Vandenbrink
                      John Vandenbrink
                      Dave Wielinga

Order of Service 

Scripture readings:
Jeremiah 29: 11-13;
Romans 8: 1,35,38,39;
Philippians 4: 6,7;
Singing: And Can it Be That I Should Gain
Prayer 
Eulogy: Steven Vandenbrink
Singing: Great is Thy Faithfulness
Scripture reading: Romans 8: 14-30 Message from: Romans 8: 18
Singing: Psalter 187
Prayer 
Singing: Psalter 52
Committal

Everyone was welcome to join the family for a light lunch afterward
*********************************************************************************

The Children's Reflections of their Dear Dad


     On Tuesday, June 5, 2012 at 9:55 p.m. Dad was called home to be with the Lord.

     Dad has meant a lot to many people, most of all, his dear wife of 27 years and his five loved children.

     Dad was a handyman; down to earth yet extremely intelligent. He worked at Highbury Recreation as an RV service technician for all of his married life, faithfully providing for his family to the very last. He was also an elder of Mitchell Free Reformed Church for many years and a friend to many.

     Dad was a godly example of a father with a strong faith and trust in the Lord. He enjoyed a special sense of humour. When we prepared for a project or vacation, we would hear him say things like, "We need a list so we won't be listless". More than once Dad gave his working, often newer car to one of us kids rather than have us struggle with the cost of vehicle repairs ourselves. He was a generous man and always put his family before himself.

     The last summer before he died, Dad worked hard at finishing the second of two foot bridges at the back of the family farm. He put water and electricity into our horse barn and fixed the rickety barn loft. Dad was very loyal to any project he was involved in and he put his whole heart into everything he did.

     As far back as we can remember, Dad always read to us.This past Mother's Day, he and Jess finished one last book they had been reading together. He was always ready to lend out or suggest a good book to anyone he talked to.

     Dad always took time to explain things to his children and, as it says in Deuteronomy 6:6-9, he taught us about the Lord while he "sat in [his] house, and when [he] walked by the way, and when [he] lay in bed and when [he rose]." He toughened up his children and taught us to work, diligently and to the glory of God.

     From family nights to camping, walks in the bush to plowing through snowdrifts, he will always remain in our hearts and on our minds.

     Dad will be sorely missed.

********************************************************************************

Reflections from Joanne

On Tues. July 6, 2010  Gary was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was a shock for all of us. We knew life would be different for all of us from that point on.  Gary was admitted that same night.

I had been reading in the book of  Psalms at that time for my personal devotions (I have the habit of underlining all the texts that mean something special to me). When I opened my bible one morning after the bad news, I read the last text I had underlined.
I will never forget it.
It read, "Be Still and Know that I AM God."
That was a comfort to me. I knew He was in control and He would be there for us.

The past two years seemed so short and yet they felt so long. So much had happened in those two short years. With surgery, chemo and radiation, trips to the doctors, building bridges and getting all the projects done on his wish list (with the help of many others). Having a second surgery, celebrating his 55th birthday at Christmas, saying, "yes" to David Calderwood when he asked for his daughter Christine's hand in marriage and even speaking at David and Leanne's wedding in February. That was almost  two full years that we were able to  enjoy having Gary with us after his diagnosis.

There were many ups and downs but the ups seem to stand out more then the downs. There were so many blessings that we could see throughout our journey with cancer. God was taking care of us. Gary had changed but he was so at peace and so content  He was never frustrated or angry; he was loving and kind to the end.

I am so thankful that I was able to take care of Gary, nursing and loving him at home and  in his own bedroom right to the day the Lord took him to Himself. I am also glad that we were able to sing several hymns at his bedside the Saturday before God took him home. Gary loved hymns.

I thank God today for all the years He has given me to share with Gary and for all the many good and happy memories we shared together as a family and with friends.
I will continue to trust in God's special promises and lean on Him in the days ahead.

Some of many encouraging words sent to us by email:

...The Lord will give strength to His people,
The Lord will bless His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

...What really is impressed in my mind are the devotional times we had together after supper.
And then we would sing. Those are special times which I don’t think I will forget.--friend of the family

...There isn't a day that I still don't think of Gary as he was a rock of knowledge and wisdom ...he always knew the "right" way to handle any problem or issue and guided and listened...

...I'll remember him as a strong Christian father and gentlemen.  Know that his life and legacy will be cherished by you and by many others.

...He simply would listen, offer heartfelt advice, and I could tell he cared.

...It was a great time to work with Gary all these years and to be able to pray together.

...God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

A special thanks to God for all the encouraging words, messages and prayers received from hundreds of caring people. And to all those involved in Gary's care whether physical, medical, emotional or spiritual. I will never forget the overwhelming support we received from family, friends, church, neighbours, co-workers, doctors, nurses and even strangers!

My sincere thanks for everything,
Joanne

 

 

 

 

Changes Every Day

Sunday, May 20th, a week ago, out on the deck

Hi Family and Friends,

The last note I posted was at the beginning of May for our anniversary. At that time Gary was still getting up everyday and we were still able to go to his doctor appointments.

He was started on his second round of chemo 3 weeks ago. His blood work was good so they had no reason not to continue the treatment.

Gary has been experiencing more headaches again. It is getting harder and harder to get him out of bed as he is experiencing some type of fainting spells when he sits up. The doctor has prescribed anti-seizure drugs thinking these spells might be mini-seizures. When he can get up he uses a walker for support.

Gary is now spending most of his days in a hospital bed that was delivered this past Tuesday afternoon. We need to help him more and more each day. Homecare nurses are coming out each day to help with morning care. Our son Ryan is home from college and has been a great help around the house as well as with Gary's care.

It seems like a lot has happened over this past week. He doesn't read or talk much any more. He seems very comfortable in his new bed and still has an appetite (which has been decreasing over the last few days).

He said he likes visitors and a lot of people talking about his bed does not seem to bother him.

The book Gary has been reading the most (May 13)

Not long ago we asked Gary what texts meant a lot to him. He quoted the following:

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Romans 8: 38, "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

                                                          Thanks from all of us!

We are receiving visitors everyday and lots of prepared meals. We are so grateful as a family for the tremendous support we are getting from family, friends, church, and neighbours.

I know many, many people all over the place are praying for us and we can feel the support of your prayers. 

Most of all I want to thank God for all the provisions and care He is providing. He is also keeping us strong and holding us up as we face new challenges each day. 

We continue to covet your prayers.

Love Joanne and the rest of the family.

Psalm 29:11 “The Lord will give strength to His people, The Lord will bless His people with peace.

                                                  

27th Wedding Anniversary Today

Enjoying the beautiful weather sitting on our back deck

It is hard to believe that when we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary 2 years ago Gary was well and healthy as far as we knew.  A lot of things have changed since then but God has been gracious.

We are very thankful that we could celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary together today however in a very different way. 

Breakfast in bed has become a daily routine.

     Gary has been very tired and weak for the last five months and things have not changed. Getting up each morning is the most difficult. Most of his days are spent sleeping in bed or on the couch. He has a lot of books on the go but is mostly reading magazine articles. Gary is not going out much except to schedule appointments with doctors.

     At this time we have no idea what the new chemo is doing for him but God does and He knows what is best. God is providing for all of our needs and I know He will continue to do so.

    Thanks to all for your love and prayers, cards, calls, emails. visits, dinners and offers to help in many ways. Please continue to pray for us as we need a special measure of patience and strength for each new day.

Joanne for us all

The family cats have become very attached to Gary (maybe its because he likes to share some of his meals with them)

Gary often tells me how good I'm taking care of him. He especially enjoys his meals served on this special tray :)

 Family update : A before picture of the new pup (beginning of Feb)

Sadie Today--puppies don't stay small for very long!

Disappointing News

Dear Family and Friends,

It’s been three months since the last MRI. Gary has been taking chemo pills for all that time. We were disappointed to hear from the doctor on March 12th that the MRI taken on  March 8th shows that the  tumor is growing back. The chemo he has been on has not been able to shrink the tumor or hold it back and there continues to be some swelling.

Gary will be starting on  a different chemotherapy drug starting on March 26th .  The doctor felt his body needed time to rest before he started on the new therapy. The new drug is to be taken one day every 6 weeks. Apparently this drug  is harder on the blood so Gary will need his blood tested several times during this 6 wk period.

Gary  remains quite weak and tired. His headaches have been minimal. We now are concerned with high blood sugars.

Gary seems upbeat, taking things in stride. We know God will not leave our side. So whatever the future holds for us, we know we are not facing it alone.

Knowing that all of you and many more are praying for us daily also lifts our spirits.

God doesn't change. Not His Word, promises, plans, love, forgiveness or salvation. We will trust in Him. 

We continue to be grateful for your many prayers.

Joanne and Gary

Our First Wedding Feb.18, 2012

MR. AND MRS. DAVID VANDENBRINK!!

Just enough snow fell fresh the morning of the wedding to make everything WHITE and COLD!

We had a wonderful day celebrating David and Leanne's wedding.

Mom's Speech

David came into the world weighing  9.1,

I couldn’t  believe that he was our son,

5 and 6 pounders was all we had had.

We were not expecting such a big lad.

It  took 3 days before he had a name.

Picking his name had become a hard game.

Ryan-- or David-- which would it be?

Well, Dad won out, David Henry it would be.

David was always a determined boy.

Sensible, and kind,  giving us much joy.

He was always ready and eager to help.

Had the right tools ready before anyone yelled.

Got his first job when he was eleven.

Joined the army when he was ten plus seven.

Persuaded his parents to give him permission.

Two years paraded and learned army submission.

At seventeen he also bought his first car.

Add in his pizza job money-- and  he could go far.

Worked in a factory,-- worked with cows,

He is now an electrician as he takes his vows.

David always seemed to know what he wanted 

and didn’t stop trying until he got it.

So once he saw Leanne as a life-time prospect;

He asked for her hand and in no time got it.

Both love the Lord with all their heart.

In marriage there’s no better start.

Reading God’s word and obeying Him.

There’s no doubt you will always win.

We officially welcome you, Leanne,

To this Dutch, Vandenbrink family clan.

Like a daughter and sister from the start,

God blessed us with a talented, sweet  girl--with a big heart. 

Just know you’re both real special.

And blessed to have found each other.

May you live a long and healthy life.

That’s filled with love forever.

David and Leanne,

We love you!

A Sensible Story

We always said that David was a sensible boy so here’s the story.


When David was 2 1/2 or 3 years old he often watched his siblings, Michael and Christine, slide down the upstairs banister.  One day I found him at the top of the stairs–contemplating, with his little leg trying to reach over the banister. He was thinking hard.  Then I heard him mumble under his breathe, “Break my neck!” and he was sensible enough not to go down.


As an electrician, David works in high-rise apartment buildings and told Joanne the other day that sometimes he has to climb 25 flights of stairs to get to his work site.

I want you to know David that your mom and I pray for your safety everyday,

so...DON’T BREAK YOUR NECK!

Gary's Wedding Speech

At a time like this it is easy to find numerous poems and sayings from the internet, some of which are actually quite worthwhile. But it is in the word of God that we have the promise that His Word is a lamp unto our feet, and a light unto our path, so it is prudent to use it. It would be nice to have the confidence that the patriarchs and the apostles had that whatever blessings they conveyed would come to pass. But since I am not a patriarch or an apostle, the best I can do is refer to scripture that has promises so to speak "built in" although they are conditional promises.

Like for instance Psalm 128:1 " Blessed is every one who fears the LORD, Who walks in His ways.
2  When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.
3  Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table.
4  Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the LORD.
5  The LORD bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem All the days of your life.
6  Yes, may you see your children’s children. Peace be upon Israel!"

David and Leanne,
When our kids were little I often thought of buying one of those really sturdy wagons with rubber wheels to pull you in (but for some reason we never did). Possibly the Dutch thing again?  Now I am looking forward to pulling grandchildren down the lane-way in a wagon like that and taking walks in the woods, the Lord willing.

It is our prayer and wish that God will continue to bless you in the field of your work and family but mostly that the Holy Spirit will guide you in your married life.

We love you,
Dad