Sudden News

At my 25th wedding anniversary I spoke briefly about the things I would like to learn in the next 25 years. I spoke of the desire to trust God more specifically during the times when difficulty comes into our lives. I know that God often teaches this through experience and I should have had some idea of what was coming.


On May 19, I had a fall at work in which I broke my left arm and also had to have stitches in my forehead. These injuries by this time have healed quite nicely, but lately I have been waking up with headaches. My dear concerned wife who also has a background in medical training felt there must be a connection and was eager to have this checked out more carefully. This is how I found myself in London's University hospital on July 6 having a ct scan and some further assessments. One of the chief neurosurgeon residents told us afterward that the scan was not good news, in that it indicated a fairly large brain tumour located on the right frontal lobe of my head. The plan is for surgery on this Friday, July 16, followed by up to 5-6 weeks of rehabilitation and chemo & radiation treatments. Even though this is about the best hospital in Ontario for such a procedure (they are forecasting 99% success rate) it still is a thought that takes a person off balance. Wondering how my family would fare without me is difficult, I have no experience on which to base an operation such as this, and if I were to not make it through the operation The prospect of standing before my creator suddenly brings all kinds of things to mind. I know because of Jesus' saving work on the cross I should have no concerns and trust Him in all things, rejoicing at the prospect of meeting Him. It brought me to mind, again however of the lyrics of the song "I can only imagine " by the group mercy me
Here are the lyrics.

"I Can Only Imagine"

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]


Another song with a similar but a little more positive perspective is sung by a group called Jars of Clay. I appreciate their music very much. All music played in our house is usually of a quite contemporary flavour (our youngest Jessica is now a teenager). Some (a lot) of the contemporary music is hardly worth listening to, but the Jars of Clay have some good messages.
this song is called "all my tears"

When I go, don't cry for me
In my Father's arms I'll be
The wounds this world left on my soul
Will all be healed and I'll be whole.
Sun and moon will be replaced
With the light of Jesus' face
And I will not be ashamed
For my Savior knows my name.

It don't matter where you bury me,
I'll be home and I'll be free.
It don't matter where I lay,
All my tears be washed away.

Gold and silver blind the eye
Temporary riches lie
Come and eat from heaven's store,
Come and drink, and thirst no more

It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away

So, weep not for me my friends,
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to Him
Who will raise the dead again.

It don't matter where you bury me,
I'll be home and I'll be free.
It don't matter where I lay,
All my tears be washed away

I had to hold on to the words of the hymn we sang in church choir lately called "In Christ alone."
The lines of this hymn stanza are a good reminder that I cannot expect any good or any start toward my spiritual well-being to come from me. I have to expect my faith, my hope and the beginning and the accomplishment of my salvation from God.

"No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand"

The song "I Can Only Imagine" can be listened to in the next post.
Thank all of you who left me emails of concern and promised prayer. It is hard to overstate how helpful this is. I will try to keep you updated as to what is happening.